clown painting

I got fired from my job four months ago. I used to be a divorce lawyer. I got fired for showing up to work late, and drunk one day after my wife left me for another man. Now I'm just a sad, drunk clown. I show up to children's birthday parties for a living, and do hat tricks. all my life consists of anymore is that, and going out to eat, because the sound of other people in the same room tends to be comforting. if that's what my life has come to, I don't really know why I just don't just go ahead and end it. I've lost everything. my wife, my daughter, my job, and my dignity. I wear this caked on makeup to Luccini's restaurant every day, partly because I don't feel like taking it off, and partly because I don't want my true face to be seen.